So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
pop tarts are not kleenex
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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