the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
