Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
