wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A+ Viking dick
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
