i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize