Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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