so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
