is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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