ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
