marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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