so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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