so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
