If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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