how can u be prego again
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
