Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize