How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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