I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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