Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
