hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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