How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
