My liver just broke up with me...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
