I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
