forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize