Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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