I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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