i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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