so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
