you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
