Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize