I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
