if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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