Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
