I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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