im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
