So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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