She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
