how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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