I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
