Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
