Non-Jews are for practice
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
