Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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