Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
