They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
