girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
