Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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