so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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