Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Me too!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
