i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
