He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
