If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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