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Just cropdusted the office
I looked at my own cervix.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
