The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My vagina is officially offended.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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