I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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