why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dick very happy bro
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
