I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.