Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.