put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated