Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..