yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize