hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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