Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
