No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
