Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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