Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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