you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
