you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize