I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
